Help me! I can't resist making flow charts!

The last time I published a flow chart on this blog, I received what amounted to be a "suggestion" from my fellow Minnesota blogger Jocelyn. I'll paraphrase for you what she said: "If you do not make a flow chart of the flow of a river I will send my army of time-traveling cyborg minions to go find your dad before your birth and lure him away with the promise of futuristic Froot Loops. Then you'll never be born! BUHUHAHAHAHAHA!" That's how I recall it, anyway, and I'm too lazy to check. But th